He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
