I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just cut my nipple shaving
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
