you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
