Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
