Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize