wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
