I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I need a beard to bite.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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