It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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