so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
