hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
