If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
