oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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