I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
