Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
