Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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