Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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