The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
