i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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