I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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