Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
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Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
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I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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