I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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