dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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