I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
