ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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