I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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