I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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