hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
