Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
