Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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