how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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