The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
