i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
