i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
