You really coming over, don't trick.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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