I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
