I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
