i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
