you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize