Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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