My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just cut my nipple shaving
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
third nipple confirmed
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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