I'm lost and stupid without you.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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