anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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