Who did Billy Mays play for?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
