remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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