Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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