he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Everything about him screamed your future.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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