sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
