But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
