I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
