He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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