Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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