You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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