Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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