Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
