New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Randomize
