Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
My brain says no but my pants say off.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
