he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
