i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
