We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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