As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
we're making bets on your personal life
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
