Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize