I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize