I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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