My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
