I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
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