So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
