she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
