dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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