How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
