He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
